Solidifying Self-love

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By Deeneva Williamson | February 5, 2018

Solidifying Self-love

As January comes to an end and we enter the month of love it’s important to remember the meaning of self-love. Now that the holidays are over, the Christmas tree you have so anxiously been wanting to keep up is down, and all your financial burdens are slowly dwindling with the wind it’s time to focus a little more on you. That means getting back into the gist of what makes you happy, bringing those New Year's resolutions that were placed on the back burner forward, and taking a huge leap in catering to your needs.

Step one: Ask yourself “What have I done for me today?"

Have you ever thought about how many hours a day we spend in our cars, sitting at an office desk, or looking at a computer screen? Or how you wake up every morning, get the kids ready for school, stop at your local Starbucks, and then head on over to your place of business? At what point do we ask ourselves what have I done for me today? For the month of February, I want to challenge everyone to ask themselves this very question “What have I done for me today?” Whether that means playing your favorite song as you’re sitting in traffic, waking up and dedicating some time to reading your favorite book, or taking your lunch to the nearest park just to do something for you.

Step two: Find everything unique about you.

It is very important to note that solidifying self-love is not an easy task at first. I know this because I have also struggled with it myself. Anyone can say you should love yourself, but how can we do so when we spend the majority of our lives learning how to love others. Now that I think about it, no one ever taught me how to just love me. No one taught me how to love the body that I am in or how to love the bags I have so graciously formed under my eyes. No one taught me to love the little grey hairs beginning to come in or to love the little things that make me unique. So where does one begin you ask? Begin with looking yourself in the mirror and finding everything unique about you. Once you find all those things keep them in the back of your mind, and anytime you need some solidification bring one of those things forward.

Step three: Enforcing boundaries.

As you begin embarking on this new journey not everyone is going to be able to go with you. If you decide to take those few who you absolutely must take with you there needs to be a few boundaries in place. By setting these boundaries you are letting others know that this month is about you. Dr. Cheryl A. MacDonald wrote an article for the Health Psychology Center on how to find a balance. She begins to explain that boundaries are personal and emotional spaces that people learn to impose on others to further preserve the value of self-love. By doing so you are then creating an emotional divide between the self and another person. Here are a few tips she mentioned to keep in mind as you’re doing so: 

  • Setting boundaries is the first step to regaining control of your life.
  • Direct communication is the key.
  • Be happy.

To solidify self-love, you must truly understand the meaning, and after understanding the meaning you must begin to push these few steps forward. The definition of self-love according to Dr. Cheryl A. MacDonald is to respect your thoughts, beliefs, and feelings. A feeling that says I may have some faults, but I accept them. As we enter the month of February let’s focus a little more on you. After the long holidays you owe that much to yourself.

Sources:

Health Psychology 


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